They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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