; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
