yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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