This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
