I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
