so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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