Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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