In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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