I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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