I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
