matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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