If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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