I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
