On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
