Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
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