They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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