He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
