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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
