their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
