I feel great
I just peed on a car
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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