hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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