Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
