I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have aggressive nipples.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
