I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
