I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
