I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
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Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
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There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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