Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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