I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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