So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
