I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
