Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
