and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize