so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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