I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
