I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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