for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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