i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
