In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
