the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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