The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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