Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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