Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
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as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
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Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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