living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
