I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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