I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
