i don't like sucking hair
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
