I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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