I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
