he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
