Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
