I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
