She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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