Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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