if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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