i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
