All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
