i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
