I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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