its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
