Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
