Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
