Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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