I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
