OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
