So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
