If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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