How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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