you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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