Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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